Hush!

It's early....well sorta early. I woke up again before the sun, and please don't misinterpret, I love it! This has become the normal thing around here. Not because I set an alarm or because I'm shoved out of the bed, I just wake up! I could be all cliche and talk about how thankful I am for another day and I am super thankful, some people just wont wake up today, but that's not what this is about.

It's about the little things this morning....

How everything is still wet from the thunderstorm last night.
The quiet in my house.
The kurig trying so hard to give me another cup of coffee, and me thinking I should probably add a replacement into the budget.
It's an early morning shower that isn't rushed.
Sitting on the front porch just listening to the morning come with my favorite red dog.
It's remembering and reflecting on how fast time goes and reminding myself to just "be still".
It's finding one of my favorite shirts after being MIA for a month (seriously how does a 30 something mom who hasn't been out of town in almost a year lose a shirt?)
It's being excited for a lunch date with an old friend and getting to meet her little bundle of joy.
It's hearing Ralph run around in his wheel and shake the water bottle in his cage. 

In fact it's so many things....I hope that whatever I have done to my internal clock sticks around.

And please, Hush! Don't wake anyone up yet....I'm not quite ready for the morning rush!

Just some randomness for your day.

It's snowing.....now I like snow as much if not more than anybody I know.  If it's going to be cold I'd prefer snow. But it's spring break and I want us to get out and play, I'm ready for thunderstorms, buds on the trees, chirpy birds, and open windows.   

My dryer broke. 

More precisely the switch that turns the dryer on broke.  So I stopped doing laundry during the day.  I waited until Mr. D came home from work and I would ask him to turn on the dryer. So after a week, he ordered the part and came up with an short term fix.

I'm a lucky lucky girl! 

I finally got around to making my curtains.  I've been looking at this fabric for forever!  Just decided to jump in and do it. Shocked myself with how awesome they are. They still need hemming and I've got about 10 more yards of fabric to buy so that I can finish up the rest but so far so good!

like I said....random

Times are a changing

The house is so quiet this morning, a sign of how my days are going to be now. I'm not so sure I like it.  It seems I've been giving myself pep talks for weeks. Today is the first day of school.

Several years ago a friend told me that if you are doing it right, your children leave. Yes, they leave. They go to school, they go to college, they get married, they build new families. This is how it's supposed to be. My job as a parent is to prepare my child for life. And life constantly changes. I don't do so well with change.

Last year around this time, I put my little buddy on the bus for the first time and it was hard. He was so excited and he loves school. I was and still am over the moon proud of him, but then again what momma doesn't feel that way about her boy? I had little sister here to keep me busy. but this year is different. She will be getting on that same bus and leaving.

I know that I'm not the only mom going through this right now. My facebook feed is full of first day of school pictures and status of moms that are ready and some that seem just a nervous as I am.

A conversation the kids and I had in the car yesterday pretty much sums the whole thing up.

Little Sister: I'm so excited for tomorrow.

Buddy: Mommy isn't excited for us to go to school.

Me: I'm just going to miss you two bunches.

Little Sister: Aren't you excited for us to go and learn? 

Me: Yes! I'm very excited for you to go and learn.

My heart is heavy and confused. I'm excited, nervous, sad, proud, and feeling overwhelming blessed all at the same time. I don't want my kids to see me cry or know that I'm nervous. They'll understand someday, and maybe like me they'll think of their momma and know I felt the same way.

My vent...Not the dryer kind, you know, the rambling kind

So I've been away a while now missing in action. And by action I mean completely immersed in life and family. I wish I could say I'm sorry about it, but I am absolutely apologetically not in the least bit sorry. 

This morning I'm up early, which has kind of been the norm here lately. The house is quiet and I've had a ton of stuff on my mind lately. I've been thinking that I should take a journey here and revisit my little place and now seemed like as good of a time as any. So here I am.

I want and need to preface this post by saying that I am not perfect....no one is. We all have a Teacher who is without blemish and I prayed to him before I even started typing that what my fingers type on this screen wouldn't be foolish. So here goes....

"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” 

“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.”

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  

Maya Angelou

These three quotes pretty much sum up how I have been feeling lately. They also have been pushing me to improve myself and my attitude. 

I love the last quote about how you make people feel and after reading THIS POST I was reminded that it isn't just the words that flow from my mouth but also my posts....here, Facebook, twitter, you name it. 

I don't want words and posts out in the world that my children may someday find and think, What was my mom doing or thinking? She is complaining constantly about motherhood. When I'm a picky eater she is complaining. When life is difficult she is complaining. When I'm crying she is complaining. My two may not think that now, but if they could read my posts what would they think and learn as they grow, get married and learn to parent. Are they seeing that when I'm frustrated I turn to Facebook  Are they learning that when life gets difficult you go to social media to look for validation or do they see me looking to Jesus and the Word? Do they see that I complained to my hundreds of "friends" about how tired and scared they were? Do they see posts made when I should have had hands busy rubbing backs and soothing little ones that grow to fast and instead I was typing away on my phone? 

We are constantly connected without a hard stop built into place to force us to ask ourselves important questions before we click share. Important questions like, 

How does this make the world perceive me? It may not be who I think I am but please refer to the quotes above. 

How does this show the world who I am and how does it reflect on my spouse and my children? 

And lastly but most importantly, does what I am typing show the Light that my King lit in my soul when I accepted Him as my Savior?

So I'm going to try and do better and I sure hope some of my "friends" do too, because I sure am tired of all the griping....and that's my gripe 

So....I've been completely and totally uninspired to write. Because of this I've been thinking I should just jump right in with a rambling random update on the D family. Here goes.

My little buddy finally lost a tooth, well two teeth now. This caused some Momma anxiety. First, really I have a toothless kid? Second, How much does the tooth fairy pay?

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas in the D house....and I'm feeling Grinchy.

Mr. D grew a beard. He looks hot! Nuff said....next.

I'm getting a MRI of my shoulder tomorrow. Went to the ortho doc and thankfully I didn't pass out this time, but I had pit stains the size of dinner plates and thought I might throw up on his shoes. Yes I took my Momma, I needed someone to hold my wimpy hand.

Peanut has a darn good Christmas list this year, too bad Santa didn't win the Powerball. She has asked for 3 things. Ready? An iPad, A 3D DS, and a puppy. Sorry sister...but your gonna need to revise your list.

I've been trying to escape the Grinchy feeling by haunting the local library and I found an amazing book. Night Road. You've got to check this one out.

So that is enough mindless nonsense for now. Hopefully I'll have something a little more cheery soon!

Really, it's been six months?

It's been a while, about six months (to the day, in fact) since I've been here. Which got me to thinking, what exactly have I been doing for the last six months. It seems like just yesterday that I was sitting in our house worrying wondering about what the future held for the four of us.

Well, in case you didn't know. The D family picked up and moved shortly after my last post. Not too far away, but far enough to change zip codes and make it now long distance to call my momma. I wasn't super thrilled with that, but after some times of reflection, I know that we are exactly where God wanted us to be! Hopefully sometime soon I can share the story of how Mr. D figured that one out.

We love our new house and are trying to find our way in our new neighborhood. Leaving our former neighbors was really like leaving family. I've learned in the past couple of months that the four of us being together wasn't the only thing that made our last house a home. It was the wonderful relationships that we had built over seven years with the people that shared the street with us. I'm hopeful that those friendships won't end and very hopeful that we can build new friendships with the people we live near now.

Over the last six months I haven't abandoned the computer all together. I have become obsessed with Pinterest. So much so that I am currently trying to stay away from the site so that I can actually do something productive with my time.

Many other things have happened over the summer, which I enjoyed immensely.  We spent a ton of time at the pool. I watched my hubby try to grow grass in our back yard all summer and then he watched me near hyperventilate when we got a water bill. My little buddy turned seven and the first of August he got on the school bus and went off to first grade. Sister summed it up when she said, "I miss when Bubby was six." I miss it too sister, more than she knows.

God's got this

So I thought that I didn't have anything to write about.....I was wrong. Bear with me this may be long winded.

Early in the weekend while working with a friend of mine, we were discussing some random things and I was telling her that my heart had been really heavy for some friends. I told her how I was feeling so down and sad. She suggested that I journal my thoughts. Not like "Dear Diary" but more like a prayer journal. I didn't. I should have, because my heart has continued to be heavy. Even as I have lifted those people up in prayer, I still can't shake this broken hearted feeling that I have.

So this morning I got yet more news that caused my stomach to decide that the best place for it was upside down and in my throat. I happened to be on my way to do some grocery shopping. Bad idea, the store was fairly quiet, which made things even harder. I pushed my cart through the store fighting back those stinging tears and tried to suck what snot was leaking out of my nose back into my head before it dripped on the milk. Then of course Mr D calls me and the tears just break loose. Now I definitely look like someone who escaped loony bin.

Then I said it (not sure if I said it out loud)
"God's got this"

So here I am all "Dear Diary".....My friends are hurting, my heart hurts for them. I have peace in knowing that when our hearts hurt Jesus is there. When we are at the top of peaks He is there. When we are in the valley He is there. I'm so thankful that I have a friend who is there and does all of this for me. I hope and pray that Jesus can take me and use me to be a friend like these phenomenal ladies deserve. I'm gonna try real hard to not cry anymore today, but to pray instead. If you made it to the end of this post (I'm amazed, it's not easy to follow) I'll ask you to pray for a few gals that need the prayer. God will know who they are.